New Book Explores Why Relationships Succeed or Fail

"Rath's bullishness on friendship is based on solid research and couched in intelligent prose."
-- Publishers Weekly, May 2, 2006

More than a book about the workplace and more than a study of what makes friendships work, Vital Friends: The People You Can't Afford to Live Without (Gallup Press; hardcover, August 1, 2006) by Tom Rath is the first book to take a comprehensive look at the value of friendships in our society across both our private and public lives. The results are startling, provocative, and certain to change the way we look at friendships forever.

Drawing on more than 5 million interviews conducted by The Gallup Organization as well as the work of several leading researchers, Rath uncovers some startling truths about the bonds we form and how they affect everything from our attitude to our productivity.

Among the discoveries:

• People who have a "best friend" at work are seven times more likely to be engaged in their work. They also have fewer accidents, more engaged customers, and are more likely to innovate and share new ideas.
  
  
• Although most companies don't encourage, and some outright forbid, close relationships between workers, Gallup research shows that close friendships at work boosts employee satisfaction by almost 50%.
  
  
• The research overall shows that the quality of the friendships in your life are the best predictors of daily happiness and life satisfaction and have profound implications for your physical health and longevity.
  
  
• People with at least three close friends at work were 46% more likely to be extremely satisfied with their job and 88% more likely to be satisfied with their life.
  
  
• Friendship is the silver lining in a marriage, accounting for approximately 70% of overall marital satisfaction. "The quality of a couple's friendship" was found to be five times as important as "physical intimacy."
  
  
• Spending time with your boss was rated as the least pleasurable time of the day. However, when employees do have close friendships with their boss, they are more than twice as likely to be satisfied with their jobs.
  
  
• The watercooler effect: You are three times as likely to have a close-knit workgroup if physical environment makes it easy to socialize. Unfortunately, only one-third of the people we studied report working in such an environment.
  
  
• Do friends shape your waistline? If your best friend has a very healthy diet, you are more than five times as likely to have a very healthy diet yourself.
  
  
• Successful friendships are the ones in which friends play a specific role in your life (there are eight roles of friends defined in the book -- from Builder to Navigator, Companion to Champion). The fatal mistake in friendships is forcing one person to fill every role.

Along with the compelling research, every copy of Vital Friends comes with a unique code for readers to take the online vital friends assessment. This series of questions and responses uncovers the vital friendships in a person's life and shows them the vital roles these people play.

In the foreword to the book, Rath provides some fascinating insight into his own interest in the concept of friendships and their value. "The energy between two people is what creates great marriages, families, teams, and organizations," writes Rath. "Yet when we think consciously about improving our lives, we put almost all of our effort into self-development.

"As I look back on my formal education, it was based almost entirely on mastery of a topic or building my knowledge base. In grade school, I learned how to read, multiply, and write, and I attempted to learn a foreign language. During college and graduate school, I had the opportunity to focus on even more specific topics that piqued my interest. Throughout my professional life, I have attended countless development programs that aimed to make me more productive. Even when I have dedicated time to developing others, my attention has focused on each person's self-development.

"I had it all wrong. The potential was hiding within each relationship in my life."

Vital Friends shines a potent and provocative new light on the value of friendships throughout our lives and gives us each the tools to make the most of each and every one of these connections.

Learn More

• About Tom Rath
• The 8 Vital Roles (see page 2)
• Visit the Vital Friends Web site

For more information, contact:

Barbara Cave Henricks
Cave Henricks Communications
512-301-8936 or barbara@cavehenricks.com

The 8 Vital Roles

The research behind Vital Friends reveals that people have significantly better friendships if they can easily describe what each friend contributes to the relationship. Here's a look at the eight most common friendship roles that the research uncovered:

BUILDER

Builders are friends who motivate you, invest in your development, and truly want you to succeed -- even if it means they have to go out on a limb for you. These friends help you see your strengths and advise you on how best to use them. They are generous with their time and encourage you to accomplish more. Builders won't compete with you; they will be cheering for you all the way to the finish line.

CHAMPION

Champions stand up for you and your beliefs, and they sing your praises. They are the friends who "have your back" and who will advocate for you even when you're not around. They accept you for who you are, even in the face of resistance. Champions are your strongest supporters who thrive on your accomplishments and happiness.

COLLABORATOR

Collaborators are friends with similar interests -- the basis for many great friendships. You might share a passion for sports, hobbies, religion, work, politics, food, movies, music, or books. Shared interests are what often make Collaborators lifelong friends and those with whom you are most likely to spend your time.

COMPANION

Companions are always there for you, whatever the circumstances. You share a bond that is virtually unbreakable. When something big happens in your life -- good or bad -- these are the people you call first. Companions take pride in your relationship, and they will sacrifice for your benefit. These are the friends for whom you might literally put your life on the line.

CONNECTOR

Connectors are the bridge builders who help you get what you want. These friends get to know you and then instantly work to connect you with others who will share your interests or goals. They extend your network dramatically and give you access to new resources. If you need a job, a doctor, a friend, or a date, call a Connector.

ENERGIZER

Energizers are your fun friends who always boost your spirits and create more positive moments in your life. Energizers have a remarkable ability to figure out what gets you going. They pick you up when you're down and can turn a good day into a great day. Call on your Energizers when you need a laugh, a smile, or a bit of relaxation in your day.

MIND OPENER

Mind Openers expand your horizons and introduce you to new ideas, opportunities, cultures, and people. They challenge you to think in innovative ways and help you create positive change. They know how to ask good questions that make you more receptive to ideas. Mind Openers challenge conventional wisdom and allow you to express opinions that you might be uncomfortable articulating to others.

NAVIGATOR

Navigators are friends who give you advice and keep you headed in the right direction. You seek them out when you need guidance and counsel -- they're great at talking through your options. If you are in a difficult situation or at a crossroads, talk to a Navigator. They are best at hearing your dreams and goals and then helping you find the path to achieve them.

Adapted from Vital Friends: The People You Can't Afford to Live Without (Gallup Press, 2006)