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Sacred Conversations: Coaching Others via Knowing Yourself

Sacred Conversations: Coaching Others via Knowing Yourself

Webcast Details

  • Gallup Called to Coach Webcast Series
  • Season 7, Episode 32
  • Learn the importance of having a firm grasp of your own CliftonStrengths before you engage in meaningful -- sacred -- conversations with those you coach.

On a recent Called to Coach, we spoke with Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach Pia Nazareno-Acevedo from the Philippines about the sacred conversations that a coach engages in, and the importance that a coach knows has a firm grasp on their own CliftonStrengths before coaching others, and coaches out of the "overflow" of their strengths. Coach Pia also shared her excitement about the inroads CliftonStrengths and CliftonStrengths coaching are making in her country.

NEW: Below is a full transcript of the conversation, including time stamps. Full audio and video are posted above.

Jim Collison 0:00

I'm Jim Collison and live from the Gallup Studios here in Omaha, Nebraska, as well as Manila in the Philippines, we are live for Gallup's Called to Coach, recorded on August 3, 2019.

Jim Collison 0:23

Called to Coach is a resource for those who want to help others discover and use their strengths. We have Gallup experts and independent strengths coaches share tactics, insights and strategies to help coaches maximize the talent of individuals, teams and organizations around the world. If you are listening live, love to have you love to have you log in to our chat room, be good to see you there. If you have questions or you're listening to the recorded version, you can send those to us in an email: Saurav Atri is our host today. Saurav is the Regional Director for Southeast Asia for Gallup and in Manila today. Saurav, welcome to Called to Coach.

Saurav Atri 0:55

Thank you, Jim. And it's really exciting times here in Manila. We are embarking on the next phase of a strengths journey and strengths movement in the Philippines. We already have over 202 certified coaches. We just finished our ASC [Accelerated Strengths Coaching course] this week. And today we have the pioneer from the Philippines who started it all here. So we've got coach Pia Nazareno-Acevedo, who's a Certified Professional Coach. She's also the ASEAN Head of International Institute for Coaching and Mentoring, and a certified member of the International Coaching Federation with expertise in family relationships and personal life transitions. She's also, you know, a Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach and a member of the Harvard Business School executive education. And we are so lucky to have her; she just flew in last night from Harvard Business School. So she's still in the U.S. time zone right now. And previously, coach Pia has received a degree in AB philosophy from the Ateneo de Manila University. And then she further studied on family ministries from the same university, and then courses and coaching and mentoring with Gallup, Coach U., and also now the Harvard Business School. And she's a leading life coach favored by the country's chief executives and key social influencers, and is consistently invited to give seminars and workshops in Southeast Asia and throughout the Philippines. Especially around performance management, personal development, marriage and parenting. She's also an author of two books, and she'll love to hear more from you as well. So Pia, welcome to Called to Coach Philippines and we'd love to get started with you know, sharing a little bit about you back -- about yourself and also starting with the Top Five.

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 2:33

All right, so Good morning. Good evening, I don't know where in the world you are. My Top 5 are Activator, Connectedness, Belief, Woo, Communication. I work with actually my top 10. So that's Achiever, Strategic, Adaptability, Empathy, Competition. And I am on my Competition mode right now, my Communication, because it's actually 9 p.m. where I came from, but 9 a.m. now, so I've barely had enough sleep when I was supposed to have sleep. And I'm supposed to be sleeping now during this conversation. So this is really phenomenal time. You know, Saurav has been a real inspiration in keeping the strengths movement in the Philippines going. And, of course, there are people in the crowd, I'd like to have a shout-out to coach Lily Beth Elmo, coach Nino, coach Leo and coach Dani, Hello! So it's a live Called to Coach this morning! And my interestingly enough, my love affair with strengths began in 2015, when this man beside me on a separate screen actually facilitated my ASC when I flew to Singapore, January 2015. And during that week, I told myself, why don't we have this course in the Philippines? Why don't we have this course in my own country, where if every person was given the opportunity to name and claim and find a way for them to really aim their natural talents, to where we know the country can be taken to the next level, where we know every single Filipino, no matter how physically, economically, emotionally or psychologically possibly deprived because of our environment, can be inspired by knowing their unique contribution wherever they are.

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 4:19

And so I had this conversation with Saurav and then head of region, Cheethong. And we brought the first ASC to Manila in November 2015. So that was my Activator and my Belief at work. So aiming definitely what I felt was important for the country, to make sure that we build a country that is strengths-based, that is inspired by each one knowing that when they enter the door, they have something unique to contribute. And whatever you say, whatever you want to build matters, not to be brought down by or hindered by any other obstacles in your way, possibly a lack of education, a lack of opportunity, simple things like traffic, not knowing people in influence. If you know what your top strengths are, you are able to tell yourself, wait a minute, I can attract a certain energy that can make a difference for others. And the name, claim, aim process inspired -- I was inspired by the fact that it won't just benefit others. But as people get to know their own natural balance, there is that movement inward, where after getting to know who I really am, what I'm really built as, I asked myself, oh, OK, what kind of plug and I know contribute in this world? What kind of impact, what kind of purpose can I now make happen, not just for me, but other people around me. So circles of influence.

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 5:56

I was blessed to be a coach early on. So I am on my 20th -- turning 20th year of coaching, Master Coach level. So I'm on a level where I really want to give back, I want to be able to build more coaches. And today we have 202 coaches in the Philippines. Batch 12 just ended yesterday, yesterday, am I correct? Yes. And so we want to make sure that all of the champions of strengths do not just take it to the level of impact or difference for the people that they are leading or managing. But more importantly, what is that inward movement? What transforms for each person when they get to know what makes them different? And focusing on what's positive about each other. Today, the news out there, it's all negative. Interestingly enough, it's not just the news, local news, but also everywhere. That's what generates ratings. We talk about things that are not working. And so the language of strengths and focusing on what's working, focusing on what makes you unique, focusing on what's positive out there, so that the energy changes in the room, so that people have an opportunity to really say, wait a minute, there will always be something that's not working. So why not, let's start championing this. Let's start championing the fact that there are many things about me that are not right, that are not perfect, that I am a work in progress. And so that's where I've taken a lot of my strengths work. I put up a company back in 2008 called The One Core, and in that, the vision of One Core -- "one," referring to just you first and your core. And our tagline being "Focusing on What matters." What is it about every person that would make tomorrow a different day, knowing that they're meant there's a lot of drama around, but to start peeling away, what are the things that really matter? And in doing so, investing our time and energy to it. So I have actually been so blessed to be leading a lot of coaching conversations with influencers in the Philippines.

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 8:23

And in these conversations, we've actually looked at how to optimize talent. And when people receive their strengths and work for the first time, so it's there, a piece of paper, all of this just looks like a regular report. So we have to break the "paper dynamic" away and let them see the universe within them. What is it that's happening between me and these things that I'm discovering from the strengths report that will allow me to break out of the everyday and go beyond? So the the dynamic of investing, literally investing in yourself and saying, OK, so the Activator within me can be in its role, for I'm very impatient with other people. But at the same time, the Activator within me can create great opportunities, new opportunities for other people. And so that name, that claim, and being able to tell yourself, I am going to use my strengths -- One Core -- for me too, and not just for me to be investing it in optimizing others. But more importantly, have I been using my strengths for myself? So I have this principle that I thought about that the work that I've been doing for many years called, plain and simply, you cannot give what you do not have. So all of the strengths conversations around, and all of the tools we have about how we can maximize for others; at the same time, also being able to sit back and ask yourself, how is my Connectedness or Belief work for me? And where's the amount of time that I am investing in that specific talent, recharging me, making my life, filling myself up?

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 10:07

So I always talk about coming from an overflow, where there is a dynamic of, before you enter a room and make yourself available in the present as a leader-manager to others, the question is, did you fill yourself up before you entered that room? So you ask yourself, How did my Activator, Connectedness, Belief, Woo, Communication just fill myself up now? What are the things that I put in place in order for my strengths to work for me before I make sure that it works for others? And even if I'm speaking this way, and my -- the rhythm and the pace of which I am articulating all of this magic is here right now in this conversation, it's a lot of contemplative; it's a lot of quiet; it's a lot of purposefulness; it's a lot of investing; it's a lot of being home with yourself; it's a lot of having those difficult conversations with yourself, especially in different life stages. And because we in the Philippines are so serious about the 202 people championing for others what we have learned in the ASC because all of those tools are just, wow, profoundly life changing. We have to make sure that we take it home significantly sacredly for ourselves first, before we are able to really champion authentically for others. So that has been a big part of my strengths journey. We're turning 5 years next year, Strengths Philippines turning 5 years next year. We are actually preparing for our second conference in October, hoping, Jim that you can come over. Saurav will definitely be here. And to say the least, the fire is growing, if not been exponentially growing. Because every single coach right now that has taken the ASC knows this responsibility that we have to be able to use and maximize what we have learned and systematically, strategically work together, stronger together and make an impact for our country.

Saurav Atri 12:21

Thank you Pia and again, you could see the impact as well know when we have all the coaches get together here, over 200 of them. You know you could feel the vibrance, you can feel the positive vibe that is there. Tell us a little bit about your story of, how did you build this community, you know, right from scratch and you had a group of coaches, the earlier the first batches and a few others from there? How did you use your own strengths to build this group of people to come and bring them together to create this movement in this country?

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 12:48

OK, so my Woo is No. 4. But really the Executing theme here is the Belief. When I came across strengths, and I told myself, wow, imagine a lot with no doubts. Because that's exactly what strengths did for me. It removed space for doubts. Never will there be another challenge in front of me where I will ask myself, What is the best way for me to address this? Because I will always do it through Activator, Connectedness, Belief, Woo, Communication, Achiever, Strategic, Adaptability, Empathy and Competition. That's exactly how I'm going to be facing every situation that's put in front of me. How much time and energy do we spend on doubting ourselves? And so as soon as I have the ASC experience in Singapore, January 2015, what I did was, I created a list of influential people that I knew in the coaching industry, and also training and development industry. And I was able to get a list of people that have taken their (CliftonStrengths) assessment earlier on. And I literally went through the list one by one. It was like a seven page Excel that was mind-blowing, I had no idea who these people were. And they were alphabetically arranged, literally taking the call, introducing myself and saying we are going to make strengths happen, we're going to make strengths happen. How has strengths changed for you? How's it changed for people that you know? Because we're going to fuel that and make sure that you have everything you need in order to get to the next level. So that was in 2015. We've had -- Batch 1 was a very powerful batch. Batch 2, the same, you can feel the momentum from Batch 1 all the way now to Batch 12.

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 14:44

It was all about me going through one by one, going through all of those names and having that sacred conversation, because each of the people that I spoke to were moved by strengths in a different way. And again, the strengths commitment is really a personal one. It is not one just to say OK, the book was great. My company invested in this for me, so I will -- and it has actually added productivity for my team. So now let's take it to another level. No, I'm talking about the sacred experience of strengths, where because at the time when I was lonely, my Activator, my Connectedness, my Woo made me feel love. At the time when depression can be an option for someone in your life, because you're thinking, I'm comparing myself someone to someone who was Strategic, Achiever. Discipline, when in fact I've Empathy, Includer, Intellection, so it seems like my natural talents would be different. But now that I've discovered that I do have Intellection, and I do have Includer, and my Empathy, and my Focus, is different. It doesn't -- it's not out there, like a Communication, Activitator, Belief, Woo person, I'm able to say, wow, this is a profound experience. This is me, getting to know myself. Because life is too short.

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 16:09

You know, I don't know. The last time I told you, Saurav or Jim, the experience of my own near-death experience. So back in 2004, I was 30 years old. So I'm actually telling you now, I'm turning 45. I'm so young. Anyway, so back in 2004, so I was 30, my life flashed before my eyes. I went to bed, I was fine. And I woke up and I couldn't breathe. I had an allergic reaction to the fireworks of December 31, 2003. And when I woke up, I literally couldn't breathe. And so my husband looked at me and said, you know, you don't look well. And then I said, I don't feel well. And after 5 minutes, he goes, you really don't look well. And then I said, I really don't feel well. So he put me in the car, rushed me to the emergency room. And as he was driving me to the hospital, my life already flashed before my eyes. You you can go to bed one day and feel fine, and wake up and not be able to breathe. And when my life flashed before my eyes, the only question I could ask myself, which was so interesting -- I never thought that this would be the question that would flash through my mind at that point in my experience -- I asked myself, have I loved enough? If this were my last moment on earth? Do the people that I love really know how much I love them? And have I been able to take all of these blessings to a different level where the talents that I know I naturally have can inspire others to do the same with environments that they are around.

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 17:45

So all of this -- the the question was around maximizing the blessings that I have received. And I sincerely could not answer the question positively. I knew that there were moments -- and these were the moments, the big memories, that clump of memories that started coming out in my reflection, were the times where I was self-centered, where I was spending too much on myself when I could be giving others more. I was going for luxury versus serving others. And I had the heaviness, I could feel the heaviness because if it was my last few moments, then I would have regretted all of that. And the Lord had different plans. It was not my last moment because, apparently, that scare put me in my place and put me in my lane and said OK, Pia, what is your life really about? That's why my second book, called Focus on What Matters, zeroes in on how people can maximize their time, away from the drama. So I have this slide that talks about personal anchoring, and personal anchoring that is away from relatives of fear and pride. And in those fears, fears and pride that we bring -- the insecurity, the judgment, the guilt, the doubt, it takes away our opportunity to really give back. It takes aware and opportunity to be present to someone and say, OK, even if -- the way you're presenting your problem right now is very self-centered. So it's all about the selfishness, the ego, trying to be fed by this coaching conversation.

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 19:40

So let's take, for instance, my coaching conversations with executives here. The conversation is all about how do I make this work, Pia? This is a pride thing. And you could see, the energy is really a pride thing. This is my job, I'm not able to do it. And yet, when I look at the people that report to me, they're not smart enough; they're not giving me the results that I need. And so when you look at the the root of it all, which is actually where the Significance for this particular executive, it was the Significance, it was the Self-Assurance, it was the Maximizer that was getting so frustrated, because at that time, his energy was all about getting the most from other people. And so there is that, that struggle of my Maximizer, my Self-Assurance hasn't really worked for me. But I'm trying to make it work for other people. So we have to be able to dial down that pride and see how his self-fulfillment, his optimization of his talent, is not reliant on other people's achieving his standards, but him being able to really nurture himself and bring out the best of his abilities, because he's been through so much learning. So it's all on this level, all on the intellectual level, where when you think about it, the ego comes from not being able to prove through concrete results how all of my studies through the years, and all of these expensive universities that I've gone through, are not showing in my output. So it's all about trying to prove about what's for me, what I am capable of -- to be able to dial that pride down, and create an environment where leaders really make an impact for others, are they able to say, It's not about me getting what I know I am capable of showing or proving for others. But it's for others to be able to -- for me as a leader to be able to create that space where I am optimizing what others are capable of. So that greed, that pride conversation, something that I really enjoy having with executives and leaders, when they feel like the burden is more about the number and, rather than the meaningful and sacred conversations they should be having with people that they have an impact on. It's not so much about the skill, it's more about the person. It's not so much about the intellect; it's really more about seeing that person beyond just facilitating what you need. So just running with it. It's all about creating that sacred space where you can go to bed today fine and waking up and have difficulty breathing. And so people are appreciating what they can contribute -- their talent contribution now to you. Because they know that you're not talking about something that is about you. It's not selfish for the leader. It's more for all of us to be taking our lives to a different level. And so I know that, Saurav, you probably want to ask me more specific questions, questions about this, go on.

Saurav Atri 23:11

Yes, thank you, coach Pia, this is something which is very powerful to hear is you're somebody who's you know, been through adversity yourself. And you've done that round, and now you're breathing life and power and energy through your purpose and mission into other people's life. You know, we'd love to hear a specific story about an Aha! moment you had in your coaching experiences, having coached thousands of people.

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 23:33

Well, there are several, there was one very moving experience that I had with -- he's, he was the head of this very big plant here in the Philippines. And he came across us very defensive, because the complete action of the organization on with him. And this is where the Aha! moment for me about the personal sacredness really came into play was the complaint about him was he had all of the industry knowledge. And they really wanted to bank on 24 years of his experience. But because he was so sure about himself and less of a people manager, he would go around, literally, whatever route he had around the plant, and scare people, because people weren't doing their job well. And they were literally from a I think it was 140 or 170 people in the Justice one section, when he was promoted to be the leader, like 70, people want to believe. And that was like almost half of that particular section. So president said, you know, coach, BF, please do something for us. Either you turn him around there, we, we just have to let him go. So he knew that there was something that was wrong, because he inspired people, he was inspired by leaders who brought out the best in others, but he couldn't find it in himself to do the same, he was always very hard and sharp and mean. And interestingly enough, in our conversations, it was all about his lack of capacity to be encouraging and kind to himself. And in doing so, he was just treating other people the way his internal dialogue was. So my aha moment there really was, even if we had all of these great reports on strengths, but kept on talking to our clients about how strengths optimize others, rather than then you looking at strengthen opportunity for allowed an opportunity to be transformed, to be made beautiful to be made your life to become meaningful that because of whatever blessings you can attest to in your life, and he had four children, happy marriage, he lived not so far from work, so traffic wasn't so bad, all of these blessings can be entered with it, he did not know he was aiming them, because the lack of name and claim was there can be attributed to the fact that he attracted that energy he was attracting that because of his maximized her because of his self assurance because of his significance, which are also very frustrated in this new line of work. So my aha moment really has been less about where we know strengths can take a talent pool, more about how are you silence can really transform the champion, how the talent can transform that person who knows that it fluctuates, our energies, our the balcony, investment, and basement, it's not always you'll always be in the balcony, you'll never be in the basement, there will be days that you will be in the basement.

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 27:23

And so we should be able to encourage and inspire and be kind to ourselves. When my Activator gets impatient, when my Empathy becomes a basement because I am absorbing everyone's problems, and I'm not able to pull myself away. It should be about how that nurturing for that particular plan executive, how is the nurturing was never an option. He never nurtured that himself through his self awareness. He was just really after proving and trying to achieve results. Now when you look that is maximized her his self assurance and the significance, he would ask himself, what can I do today, that would make the silence work for me, and transform me, and not just in my mind, and not just in my heart, but also in my soul. So he had those habits that he had to put into place where he had those religious conversation or those sacred conversations with himself about where this can really, no matter how the president of the organization thinks of him, because they really built a reputation around him scaring other people, you know what happened in those three months, he was able to take his strengths for himself. And from August, September, October, by November, he saved $1.2 billion for his company, because of how he he was able to transfer all of that energy about proving more towards nurturing. And having those vulnerable conversations with people where he would say, "In the past, I was wrong; this is what we should be doing right now. Let's all work together." And since then, his life has not been the same.

Saurav Atri 29:22

And coach, that looked like a big shift that you were able to help that person go through as well. What tips and techniques would you advise to coaches, you know, to help people have that sacred conversation with themselves?

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 29:33

Okay, the sacred conversation is a conversation that I wouldn't, wouldn't want to really put so much structure into. But I would like to share the four points around it, which I talked about in my book, The Four Habits, the acronym of which is MICK. So the MICK habits. First, it's very important for you to create non-negotiable anchoring around things that you know, will allow you to a routine that you know, would be good for yourself. So "M" stands for Motivation, what is a routine that, you know, works for you. And the example I used to usually gave us a cup of coffee because people say like, you know, when we have our cup of coffee, it's different. And I when I enter the room, it's different. So there is a routine around your day or your week or your month, it could be going to gym three times a week, having your yoga three times a week having your meditation every morning reading prayers before you go to bed. So that's the letter "M." The they become non-negotiable habits. I have a lot of clients say you know, I actually don't have non-negotiable habits, which is so interesting. When you think about seriously in a day, you don't have a routine that you can say is really what works for you. I have a client who literally says coach Pia, I know what it is, and finally, I can say for a fact that I have to have rice for breakfast. That's all it was. When he has rice for breakfast. He's different throughout the day. So he knows that anchoring for letter M really works for him. Letter "I" is what I call Inspiration. What are the things that make you feel alive? What are the things that you know, when you plug into them, and they're not there's no routine, there's no pattern around. It's not weekly, monthly, no weekends and things like that. But every time you get to it, it just recharges you. So I have people who go through their music. I people who go to museums, people go to Yummy, yummy food. So there's no routine around it. But when you do it you know that it recharges you It gives it allows you to give him an overflow are going through pictures and and usually it's artistic stuff, things that allow you to go beyond your usual routine or structure.

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 31:55

Letter "C" stands for Cheer. What is the best way for you to cheer yourself on? Especially when times are tough, and it's the last 10 seconds of the game. And you know that you still have to fight through it? What is the conversation that you have with yourself? Do you go through a book that it's inspiring and find your quiet time happy with yourself? Do you take a walk? Do you have to go out and look at the sky I have people to just wait for sunsets wait for sunrise, they wait for the sunsets, they wait for the sunrise, they look at nature that allows them to cheer themselves. Because this is something that's very conflicting about trying to find energy with other people. And because of social media and all of this, sometimes the non negotiable habits that you have for yourself are are not bland enough. OK. And the last habit, which is called the "K," Kindness, what is your capacity to be nurturing, to be encouraging, to literally, like, if you were to step out of yourself and see yourself as a child again, what is the nurturing needed of this child -- of this child? Would it be tucking her into bed so comfortably because she really needs a good night's sleep? Would it be that cup of cocoa, would it be a nurturing on a different level, which is forgiving herself when she does not meet her own standards. I like talking about in kindness, how forgiveness really transforms. And when we thought about sacred experience, as we have to talk about how embracing forgiveness just takes the existential level of everything about your life to a different level. Because there is nothing in this life that you can say for a fact. I don't know anyone who does not need to forgive themselves for anything. There's always a point in your life, where you have not met your own standards, you you need to ask for forgiveness from others from yourself, or others seek forgiveness from you. And so this kindness that this necessary and energy, that is from the knowledge that you are already forgiven, that you are already love. All of this is something that you -- the MICK is a non-negotiable, they are anchoring habits that you put into place for you, in order to -- for the level for the language of strength to keep us more on the balcony, to keep us more on the mature version of our strengths. Because when you give yourself first, you're able to then give to others.

Saurav Atri 34:46

I mean, that's powerful moral, coach Pia, you know, and for the many people out there who are lacking in that MICK in their life, and they don't even know whether they should seek out a coach and whether the coaching is for them. Now, what advice do you have for people out there, you know, who are experimenting with, Hey, do I reach out to a coach to coach me?

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 35:05

OK. Right now, the hesitation to be vulnerable is very strong. I noticed how people second-guess themselves, because they know that they've asked the question before. And when they were given the answer, they should have been content with an answer. And so they will hold back and being more vulnerable. It's very important for us to be able to say, you know, I still don't get it, I still don't understand what's going on with me, because one of the biggest discoveries that I'd like to also share is, no matter how much I felt I knew myself, there's always something new I'm discovering about myself. And so if there are more people admitting that you are a mystery, even to yourself, so that's like that we have, there is a universe within you, literally, there's a university, the biggest area of knowledge, what's at the other end of that star, that depth of that experience. Literally, there is more and more that you have to see that you have to discover that you have to be open to no matter what enigma, no matter what mystery there is behind it. So the vulnerability of getting it. And then knowing that with a minute, I thought I got it, but then I lost it. That's why the third that I love to use is continuous anchoring. Make yourself like a boat, if we were all boats, and the waves of life would come. So we would definitely be hit by all of the waves. Every time something becomes clear to you drop an anchor and keep on dropping anchor so that when the waves come, the boats will, the boat will no longer be lost at sea, the boat will just be waving this way. Because we should be able to drop all of those anchors that have become clear to us at one point or another and just build on them. Rather than feel like we're always starting from the beginning, always starting from scratch, which can be very overwhelming.

Saurav Atri 37:09

And coach Pia, a lot of people seek those anchors in their personal relationships with their families, with their friends. How can a coach help them anchor their life in a way that could help them you know, guide forward?

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 37:22

OK. So if you have not tried to have a professional relationship with a coach, I would always tell people that it is a personal choice. So it's -- you really have to shop around for a coach, it's not really something that easy, because the chemistry has to be there. At the same time, you would love to have a coach that has that energy that's good for you. So what I would love to recommend is that first and foremost look at who are the coaches out there that are already approached by people that you know you're aligned with. So in the strengths community, we are so gifted with a variety of coaches that for sure you will find someone that you're aligned with, and then have that initial conversation where you drop the expectation of solving the problem. But more of create the environment of unconditional acceptance, where your coach and yourself can be patient with the problem, rather than you trying to solve a problem, that there is this beautiful dance between you and the coach facing this problem as because it's never about just one problem. It's always about us who are the bearers of this life, okay, it's, it's not the problem, there will always be a problem. So it's more about how this relationship with a coach can allow you to manage that space where things will never be sure. So you should have to arrive at an opportunity where arrive at the point in your life where there is what I call calmness amidst the ambiguity with the calmness amidst things not being clear. Because that is what life is about. It is all about getting ready for one point at a time. And each point of clarity comes from every experience but does not come as, in general, you have clarity. All of this comes one event at a time. So having that patience.

Saurav Atri 39:50

And coach Pia, when people do take that leap of faith and says let me go and speak and be vulnerable to a coach. What expectation should they have coming in? And what preparation would you say that they need to do even before they reach out to a coach?

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 40:05

OK, thank you. For reaching out to a coach, it would be lovely if you felt that you were ready to be totally honest. Because the coach, inasmuch as they create the sacred space for you, they cannot work with the lack of information. So if you know that there are some things that you're not clear about than the thunder coach about it. And in that first conversation, expect that your coach will be laying out a rhythm of meetings, where there will be an initial milestone that you would like to set, possibly becoming more self aware. Like in the case of my client, being able to be the leader that he always thought he knew he, he knew he could be but he was not so clear to him, wait a minute, coach, I'm so inspired by other leaders, but I'm not able to do what I am inspired by other people's peoples that I've started, I can't do it myself. So there's so many blocks there. So have the conversation where the coach knows what your milestone is. And then a series of meetings will be set. And in those meetings, just be yourself. And it's the responsibility of your coach to make sure that it's still tied to the milestone that you have. Or the reason why you hired your coach, which is defined in the case of my client was to be that inspiring leader that he wanted to be. And in the in the three months period or a quarter of a year, and the rhythm of meeting each other three, two to three times a month. So approximately six to nine times in that quarter. getting yourself into that, MICK, it's a motivation, inspiration, achieving yourself on and a kindness, the self, where all of that is personal anchoring and your coaches just the through your mind, you provide that confidence that you are on that path. And whatever it is that you are losing your way from or to. Sometimes it's to or from because you're losing your way to it, from it, there are favorites, it's I call them favorite bad habits. And so your coach is able to catch you and to just move you forward in that given amount of time.

Saurav Atri 42:24

Well, that seems like somebody who's stuck in their life, you can definitely find some support systems to help them discover some answers for themselves. That's a really powerful experience that you associate as well. And for people who want to be that support system for other people, who want to become coaches, coach Pia, you know, and they're not sort of ready to take the plunge yet, you know, and maybe there's something holding them back. What's your advice for those people?

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 42:50

My advice to people who are thinking of becoming a coach, it's less about the competencies that you have to build. Because all of these can be learned. It's more about -- what is that -- what is your courage to really dig down deep in yourself and make sure that another person's spiritual journey, their purposefulness, their meaningfulness is you that you are able to pave a way for that. It's less about you providing a service, it's less about you creating that powerful question for that, to have that aha moment for your client. It's more about being with their as that person reveals, and gets to know little bits and pieces of themselves. And a lot of the time, they're not ready to see, the reason why I'm this way is because of something that happened to me when I was a child, my my relationship with my mom just really sucks. And so I'm so hard on myself because she's hard than me. So you would have moments like that where it only comes in the sixth or seventh conversation out of the nine conversations where that's not a ha moment. And when he or she finally has that secret sacred revelation that it was not because of you trying to get your job done. But because of that profound space that you create that from day one, to that they when they're able to say it's less about me getting things right, it's more about me, just being the best that I can be, and allowing others to see me for who I really am, instead of seeing me for who I think I should be seen. So the presence is big. And when you are ready to provide that presence for others, then you are ready to embrace this vocation called coaching, which I am so blessed to be called to, and I will continue to champion as I know it is such a fulfilling calling.

Saurav Atri 45:22

And coach Pia, what's your vision for coaching in the Philippines? What's your vision on the strengths community of the Philippines? And what's your vision for Philippines as a country?

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 45:33

OK, so can I put out now the fireworks? What is my vision? Ta-da! The vision for strengths in the Philippines! What do we want to achieve? We want to make sure first and foremost that the experience of love through strengths conversations is it is a fundamental it is a what this the word is a it is a basic ingredient. Because our name clean aim allows us to love ourselves more, we create an environment for others, that they love themselves as much. And we're able to champion them. And they're able to champion us. And when that happens in a community of people who champion strength like all day sec graduates, then the conversations we have with people that we're introducing strengths to make them see like, wait a minute, this is different. This is not just about hitting the mark. It's not just about optimization of talent, which we know is an after effect. It's a natural consequence of strength. It's really about people feeling like wait a minute, today, things become clear to me because all I have to do is use my activator connectedness, build communication achiever, strategic empathy, competition, adaptability. So it's all about that. It's being able to say that in my life, my eldest son, who is adaptability include or ideation, who always compared himself to his father, who is focused in selection and achiever is able to sit down in the dining table and say, Wow, I don't have to be like my father at all my contributions different. My meaningfulness from this point forward is because of my empathy, adaptability and ideation, even if people compare me to my father, who was intellectual achiever and focus, its people being able to just breathe. And in doing so, this strengths community creates not just optimization of talent, but the home creates an all opportunity for love. And the reason why on our fifth year, and 13, our fifth year, next year, it's all about love. It will be all about us as the strengths community stronger together, building on each other's natural talents. So we will continue to champion which -- whatever specializations of our strengths coaches are, so we are all embracing our own niches and making a difference in our own niche. And continue to create that networking, of pointing the clients to the right people who can make that strengths impact for them, as we strategically help shepherd, love people that we know are influential and can make a difference for our country. Such a long answer.

Saurav Atri 48:55

Coach Pia, I'm sure Don [Clifton] is watching from somewhere, watching you speak, and sharing that mission that you've embracing this, for the human growth and development. I think, if you don't, folks are watching live right now, if you don't love this, you don't love human development and growth. If you don't love this mission of investing in others and seeing them grow and develop, you don't love strengths, then. This is -- if you found this video calling your mission and purpose come connect -- come connect with Jim; come connect with me myself; come connect with coach Pia as well. I think there is a purpose that we all come to this world and we have an opportunity to make that purpose come alive to the power of the togethers. Jim, any question that you have from the community, from yourself for coach Pia -- I think the world deserves to know more?

Jim Collison 49:45

Saurav, if they can't hear me, but I think you should have the live audience give give some appreciation for Coach Pia. Can you do that for me? Can you have those guys make some noise?

Saurav Atri 49:55

Guys, make some noise for Coach Pia! [Cheers and applause]

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 50:00

You should come around here. They should see -- you know, we're all here because we have a meeting.

Saurav Atri 50:02

Why don't you come around here? And again, we have a live audience right here in the Philippines. They're all gathering around behind us. I think there's a power of this community. We've got members of the coaching community right here live with coach Pia in the Philippines. And this is just a start. This is just a start of a very big, very long movement that will be living on. I think the opportunity we have this country, which has over 31% of engaged population in the world, so one of the more higher engaged population in the world that we see in the Philippines. So there's there is something magical that is happening here. We've got coach Danny here, who's been the pioneer as well of starting this movement here in the Philippines. So there's an opportunity for us to unite as humanity. And you could see an example happening here right now.

Jim Collison 50:55

No, it's great. I don't think I've ever invited the audience to come on the platform before. So that's pretty cool. There was a there was a question from the chat room. Coach Pia, as you were talking about, you know, getting a coach -- Saurav, you can weigh in on this too. Do you find a coach with similar strengths, different strengths? Or does it matter? Coach Pia, we'll throw it to you first.

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 51:15

Can you repeat your question?

Jim Collison 51:16

When you're looking for a coach, do you find a coach with similar strengths, different strengths or does it matter.

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 51:23

It doesn't matter if you ask me -- does it matter? What matters would be I find it still makes a difference if the coach has similar experience in terms of immersion. So it matters if that in my experience, it matters if they are -- if they're in a senior level, the CEO level, they look towards people that they can look up to, so definitely mismatching your clients with someone who was not this experience on someone who's not as senior with someone who is senior -- that really matters. And what I would say is as long as the strengths coach is a champion or a subject matter expert on strengths, it doesn't matter if they have the same or different strengths I don't know what do you think, Saurav?

Saurav Atri 52:16

Yeah, I think from my experiences as well it's about knowing the coach's ability of flex. So there's -- no it's, I would say it's easier for coaches to connect with people like them with similar strengths but the real power is when you do bring complementary perspectives. It's about the power of offering different opinions, different thoughts, different behaviors, different feelings to the same situation, and that's where human beings grow -- when you can offer them a new perspective or you help them remember what they've forgotten as well. So there's a value to both., The idea would be to build that connection and build that what you know what Coach Pia has said earlier is that openness and honesty in that part as well, so I would start with that.

Jim Collison 52:51

Saurav, we are at our time and I know you guys have a busy day ahead for you. We're going to sleep here in the U.S. You guys are doing some busy stuff ahead there -- any final thoughts as we wrap this up?

Saurav Atri 53:03

Yes, I just quickly say this you know, if you would like to be part of this community in the Philippines we do have a course coming up in October from 14 to 18 called the Accelerated Strengths Coaching course and again, if you're new to coaching, you've never called before -- that course is for you. If you've 20 years' experience in coaching as well, that course is for you. Because what it will immerse you in, in the strengths philosophy, which is a movement today in the world around, which is just helping people discover what the best version of them, through the whole journey of name it, claim it and aim it. So come join us, be part of this magical community -- like I said this is the best and I'm going to officially tag it: This is -- coaching Philippines, strengths Philippines -- the best coaching community in the whole world; the most positive, the most vibrant. They also have a motto behind them -- they call it, Stronger Philippines, Stronger You. So they actually have, you know, tagged it across and they hold their own some mini conference -- not a mini anymore; it's a big conference that they hosted they're having it on 19th of October as well. So come be part of this, you know, experience it for yourself. There's power and energy. Like what you know, Coach Pia says with her Connectedness know there is this energy in us and when it connects us all, you know, it unites us all. So with that, Jim, thank you for hosting us for Called to Coast Philippines with coach Pia. Coach Pia, thank you for being part of this movement and you know, sharing your love and your energy with the people around us. Thank you so much.

Jim Collison 54:30

Coach Pia there, there's some shenanigans going -- do you need to show something before we go? Are they handing you things there?

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo 54:38

Because, well, I wanted to make sure that my laptop did not die. And the things that I mentioned are actually on my book called Focus on What Matters. It's available on Amazon. So you can get a copy. I also read the book, so it's available on Audible. Can you believe that? I read the book. Yeah, this -- I don't know. Talk about commitment. It took me like half of the day to read the entire book. So that's available on Audible as well.

Jim Collison 55:03

Well, half a day -- that's pretty good! If -- that's some reading talent, maybe we'll have to have you host Called to Coach in the future if you can, if you can read that well. Saurav, well with that we'll remind everyone to take full advantages of all the resources we have available at the Gallup Strengths Center -- soon to be Gallup Access. So you'll want to stay and pay attention to all the things that are going on here. If you have questions, you can send us an email: You can catch up on all our resources,, if you want to do that as well. Saurav mentioned about becoming a Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach. We have a lot of courses available for you as well. If you want to take advantage of those, you can check them out all around the world, go to our courses page, If you want to come out and join us live on these webcasts -- this has been a fun one tonight, and they're not all this fun, but they're still pretty fun -- you can follow us on our Eventbrite page I'm not gonna lie -- you guys maybe set a new standard for Called to Coach tonight so this could be pretty interesting. Join us in our Facebook group, We'll invite you to the next Called to Coach and hope you'll join us there thanks again -- coming in live from Manila. With that, we'll say Goodbye, everybody.

Pia Nazareno-Acevedo's Top 5 CliftonStrengths are Activator, Connectedness, Belief, Woo and Communication.

Learn more about using CliftonStrengths to help yourself and others succeed:

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